Graduation Weekend??

This weekend would have been the weekend that Gerrad would have graduated from high school. To add insult to injury, some people at church sent Gerrad graduation cards with money and I had to take it back to them and let them know that he would not be graduating. I wanted to lie and say something nice and kind, like "Gerrad has been very sick and he will have to finish school in the summer." But instead I find myself telling them the horrible truth of how he left home and quite school. In return, they feel sorry for me and I think that will be a comfort. You know what? It does not make me feel any better! I see all the posts on Facebook of graduations and parties and pictures and family time. I so want to have that life!! I know that I should just get past this and move forward because I cant change it. It is only keeping me miserable. This whole weekend has been difficult! Friday, I tried to go and talk to the nursing home about my mother. I wanted to let them know what I expected and what I wanted to see happen for her to get well. They made me feel like a child in the principle office! They all just kept saying that they could only do what she wanted and no more. In the meantime, her kidneys are getting worse and her heart is failing. She has to be put on more fluids. The cherry on the Sunday is that she is so broken out from the paper diapers they keep on her that her skin is cracking and bleeding!! She refuses to get up and use the potty chair and they do not make her!! I cried and got a terrible headache. I went home and straight to bed! I want to be positive, say something profound, move forward and be a strong christian, but I am so angry!!!!!!! My prayer this week is too rise above it all and just do what I can with Gods Grace and Mercy.