Lonely!!!

How can I be lonely??? I have been waiting for some peace and quiet a long time!! I guess I just never expected to get it this way. My mom has been in the hospital for almost two weeks and we have been through so many ups and downs since then. She has heart damage from sleep Apnea. I did not know this causes heart and kidney failure. As the days went by, my sister and I had to find a place for her to go and get rehabilitated. AKA Nursing home!!! We went looking for one of which there are no good places!!! Everyone I entered gave me a wave of despair and fear for leaving my mother alone with strangers who would not love her like me! Who would not accept her like me!! Who would not care for her like me!!! It was very hard and I found myself crying and praying and hoping all day that I did not have to put her in one of these places!! I wanted to bring her home!!! I still want to bring her home!!! In the end, she picked a place. We moved to the second phase of getting her moved and getting used to the idea of her not coming home for 100 days!!! In that same week, my oldest child Grace moved out adding insult to injury!! On the weekend I am all alone, Jeremy, my youngest, goes to see his dad. So, here I am on a stormy Saturday night home alone and missing my mother so much. I also know that my daughter will not come in and make me laugh :( Am I a free bird? Am I taking care of just Nancy for awhile? Am I reading a good book and taking a long hot bath? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I don't know how to be alone! Just pray for me and I will pray for you. I am counting down the days for my mom to come home!!!