How did I become the mother that I am?

Mothers Day just came and went. I made sure that my mother knew that I loved her and appreciated her and that she knew I cared. My kids, on the other hand, did not acknowledge me at all on mothers day! I could lie and say that it's OK because I know they love me and they are all busy with their lives but I was hurt and sad that they made no effort. Why am I always in this situation with my kids? What does that say about me as a mother? I have two sets of kids. My older set is a girl and a boy. They are 24 and 23. They are children of the 80's who were very protected and very sheltered due too the Adam Walsh horror story! We kept our kids close and never let them go anywhere we thought they might be in any danger! I spanked my two oldest and made sure they knew I was boss!! They rebelled and tested every water more than once and now our relationship is very sick. The younger set is 19 and 14 and they are children of the 90"s and with them, I reached out for help. With the 19 year old, I had testing done for ADD,ADHD, and any other D that was out there. I had counselors, teachers, preachers, and anyone that would help me raise a child that would turn out well adjusted and able to have a good productive life! Our relationship does not exist at all. Now for the baby, he is 14. This child is the first teenager I have been able to enjoy a little bit. He does fairly well in school and I have not had him tested for anything! He plays sports and does well at that. All in all,I have been having a good year with him. This year things have kind of taken a turn for the worse. He is being influenced by his older siblings. His father,who is my ex,is too busy being a friend and not a FATHER! His friends have been taking him down some bad roads,too. am at a loss. Now I am having to watch him like a hawk and keep him from the bad people!! Or relationship is strained as well . How did I become the mother I am? I pray for my kids everyday and sometimes I wonder if God is trying to tell me something. Maybe he is saying, "you are not getting it!" I have to be doing something wrong!! Right? What? HELP!! I am at a loss so much of the time.